VEERING

I hate when you get on an off-ramp that veers only in one direction and the jackass in front of you puts on their signal as though there would be a choice to go any other way. So instead you get to stare at their blinker for an hour and wonder how they got through life up to this point without major help. These people need a punch in the face.

BREAST FEEDING BUMBLEHEADS

What's wrong with these crazy women continuing to breastfeed their children at 8 years of age or older? Did you know that the worldwide average for weaning a child from the breast is 4 years old?! To me that's completely disgusting. If you're a starving ethiopian and don't have anything else to give your child, I guess I could understand. But take for example this well to do stay at home woman in Bath, England. What's her excuse? I think these women are unable to deal with the fact that BABIES GROW UP!! Also, they are teaching their children that they can just turn to the breast for comfort rather than soothe themselves. Great. More mamma's boys for society. At that age, it's not nutrition they're getting from that little bit of breast milk. It's comfort. You can't provide adequate sustenance for a 4 year old (or older) from solely breastmilk. I think these women should be made to suckle a cow's teats each time they get hungry and then tell me again how much they really love breast feeding. Idiots.

ROAD KILL

You would think that wild animals would eventually evolve at some point to have a little trigger in their brains that tells them 'DON'T RUN INTO THE ROAD!' But no, day after day we still have to look at these dumb ass animals who thought it would be a good idea to run into the middle of a busy intersection. Armadillos must be the dumbest, because those are the ones I see most. Honestly, how many years now have they had to get used to cars and roads? Too long for me to feel sorry for them anymore when their brains are smeared all over the road.

TELEMUNDO

Did you ever notice how the spanish news women dress so much more sexy than american ones? If you ever turn by the spanish channel, don't be surprised if you see a woman telling you what the weather is going to be whilst wearing nothing but her underwear and maybe a see through mini dress. Top that with huge amounts of cleavage hanging out, I think people that watch the channel can't even speak spanish or give a shit what the weather is.

MUSHY POST

I just realized that I have found the perfect man. Do any of you know how that feels? I'm sure there are many women out there that will never find someone like him. I consider myself lucky to know him. He shops, he's good with children, intelligent, funny, handsome, helpful, creative, and he has that great manly 'ball smell'. A man just isn't a man unless he emits some kind of 'ball smell' when you get into that vicinity, or happen to be sniffing his boxers before tossing them into the wash. He also doesn't seem bothered by the fact that I occasionally happen to punch a few senior citizens in the face. It is very difficult these days to find a 'punch in the face advocate'. Well, to all of you and your perfect or imperfect significant others, partners, spouses, or whatever you like to call it - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

PUSSIES

I would like to let the management team at Lifestyles Family Fitness that I hope they go out of business. I have been a member there for over 3 years and they rescinded my membership. They have also made another 'business savvy' decision to cut out daycare availability in the middle of the day. Therefore, members with children can only attend in the morning or at night. Good idea guys - that'll help you lose a ton of members and that's all it will do.

The other day (once again in the parking lot) I was leaving after my workout and some old woman pulls into the parking lot ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD blocking me from leaving. I looked at her from inside my truck as if to say 'what's wrong with you? - idiot on the wrong side of the road'. But, I didn't say a thing. So then, she zooms around my truck, briefly stops outside my passenger window, gives me the finger and says 'fuck you!'. What? Has she totally lost it? I threw my truck into park and chased her all the way over to her parking spot. To make a long story short, I punched her in the face a few times for her stupidity. SHE DESERVED IT. She was the one in the wrong, yet it's okay to tell me 'fuck you'.

So, thanks to Lifestyles Family Fitness for participating with the rest of society for re-inforcing the idea it's okay for you to hurl insults at people from the safety of your car or wherever you are because you think you can get away, or that you're old and think you can do whatever you want. The truth is, one day you're going to do something and you'll do it to the wrong person and piss your pants when they come after you and kick your ass or blow your head off with a gun.

I'm glad I punched that woman. I hope she rots in hell. I think it's worth losing a gym membership to get my point across. I also hope she has a big swollen up face for Christmas. She got the perfect Christmas gift - a punch in the face.

Cunt.