MUSHY POST

I just realized that I have found the perfect man. Do any of you know how that feels? I'm sure there are many women out there that will never find someone like him. I consider myself lucky to know him. He shops, he's good with children, intelligent, funny, handsome, helpful, creative, and he has that great manly 'ball smell'. A man just isn't a man unless he emits some kind of 'ball smell' when you get into that vicinity, or happen to be sniffing his boxers before tossing them into the wash. He also doesn't seem bothered by the fact that I occasionally happen to punch a few senior citizens in the face. It is very difficult these days to find a 'punch in the face advocate'. Well, to all of you and your perfect or imperfect significant others, partners, spouses, or whatever you like to call it - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

PUSSIES

I would like to let the management team at Lifestyles Family Fitness that I hope they go out of business. I have been a member there for over 3 years and they rescinded my membership. They have also made another 'business savvy' decision to cut out daycare availability in the middle of the day. Therefore, members with children can only attend in the morning or at night. Good idea guys - that'll help you lose a ton of members and that's all it will do.

The other day (once again in the parking lot) I was leaving after my workout and some old woman pulls into the parking lot ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD blocking me from leaving. I looked at her from inside my truck as if to say 'what's wrong with you? - idiot on the wrong side of the road'. But, I didn't say a thing. So then, she zooms around my truck, briefly stops outside my passenger window, gives me the finger and says 'fuck you!'. What? Has she totally lost it? I threw my truck into park and chased her all the way over to her parking spot. To make a long story short, I punched her in the face a few times for her stupidity. SHE DESERVED IT. She was the one in the wrong, yet it's okay to tell me 'fuck you'.

So, thanks to Lifestyles Family Fitness for participating with the rest of society for re-inforcing the idea it's okay for you to hurl insults at people from the safety of your car or wherever you are because you think you can get away, or that you're old and think you can do whatever you want. The truth is, one day you're going to do something and you'll do it to the wrong person and piss your pants when they come after you and kick your ass or blow your head off with a gun.

I'm glad I punched that woman. I hope she rots in hell. I think it's worth losing a gym membership to get my point across. I also hope she has a big swollen up face for Christmas. She got the perfect Christmas gift - a punch in the face.

Cunt.

SNOWMEN

'Snowmens don't have thoraxes'. That is something I said while overcome by tiredness. Isn't it funny how our brains just won't work when we're overly tired? You can't even get basic grammar down. So just remember when you don't have anything interesting to say....'Snowmens don't have thoraxes.

If this entry wasn't interesting or intellectual enough for you, you can fuck off to another site. Won't bother me any. It's not worth it to be serious all the time. I truly believe that serious people die early.

MUSIC

Why does music push us over the edge with our emotions? I was watching this show about a mother and son re-united after the son was kidnapped as an infant. Well, as soon as the music started playing I lost it bawling my head off like a child. Or when you're working out, you can trudge through it, or put on a great song and find you can probably lift a car? What is it that music has that everything else doesn't?

I HATE COPS

The truth is that the majority of cops are assholes. They sit out there with their lazy asses and their lasers pulling over hard working parents and healthcare workers when they should be out stopping drug dealers and gang bangers. The fact of the matter is that they'd rather pick on a young single parent or senior citizen driving home from their church group rather than get their pussy asses beat by a mexican gang member. I hope that every cop that has ever pulled over someone that didn't deserve it gets a horrible incurable disease and dies a terrible painful death. I'd like to have a line-up for cops where they each walk by me and get a punch in the face.

THANKSGIVING 'SALES'

These advertisements for these stupid after Thanksgiving 'sales' are ridiculous. Do they actually think that I'm going to get up at 4am to shop for a sweater and still pay forty bucks?? If I'm going to get up that early I had better be able to get an agora sweater, a pair of designer jeans, and matching lingerie and shoes for 10 bucks! Still though, I hear about people flocking to these 'sales' and waiting at the doors to department stores at four in the morning. Everyone with half a brain knows that they just mark everything up the night before to make you think you're saving a bundle at '60%' off ! As a matter of fact, I don't think any article of clothing should cost over twenty dollars. If I ever wear a pair of jeans that costs 100 dollars it had better do something fabulous like smooth out cellulite any time you wear them. Well everyone - welcome to the holiday season!

-Dr. Vijayjay