I HATE COPS

The truth is that the majority of cops are assholes. They sit out there with their lazy asses and their lasers pulling over hard working parents and healthcare workers when they should be out stopping drug dealers and gang bangers. The fact of the matter is that they'd rather pick on a young single parent or senior citizen driving home from their church group rather than get their pussy asses beat by a mexican gang member. I hope that every cop that has ever pulled over someone that didn't deserve it gets a horrible incurable disease and dies a terrible painful death. I'd like to have a line-up for cops where they each walk by me and get a punch in the face.

THANKSGIVING 'SALES'

These advertisements for these stupid after Thanksgiving 'sales' are ridiculous. Do they actually think that I'm going to get up at 4am to shop for a sweater and still pay forty bucks?? If I'm going to get up that early I had better be able to get an agora sweater, a pair of designer jeans, and matching lingerie and shoes for 10 bucks! Still though, I hear about people flocking to these 'sales' and waiting at the doors to department stores at four in the morning. Everyone with half a brain knows that they just mark everything up the night before to make you think you're saving a bundle at '60%' off ! As a matter of fact, I don't think any article of clothing should cost over twenty dollars. If I ever wear a pair of jeans that costs 100 dollars it had better do something fabulous like smooth out cellulite any time you wear them. Well everyone - welcome to the holiday season!

-Dr. Vijayjay

PHONES

Can we please get back to phones just being phones? I think that these people that are walking around talking into these 'phones' with full keyboards look utterly ridiculous. I agree that texting is covenient, but it was fine with just the numeric system. Do you really need a full keyboard? You may as well go home and send an e-mail if you're going to send a message that complicated. I'm not going to play that 'keep up with technology' game that most people try to play. I could care less if I had no phone at all. As a matter of fact I HATE my phone most of the time. It's like a little annoying line for people to interrupt your day with. Most times I just leave it in my bag because I despise it so much. The phone is for MY convenience, not everyone else's. Can't get ahold of me? Well I guess that just sucks for you.

EMERGENCY ROOMS KILL PEOPLE

It's so comforting to know that today's ER's are filled with incompetent doctors and nurses. I know of a woman who has excruciatingly painful intermittent abdominal pain. So excruciating that it is incapacitating. She went to an emergency room for them only to do tests that she told them had already been done and then have them tell her there's 'nothing wrong'. Basically what they were saying was 'we don't know what the hell it is so don't take up any more of our time and go see someone on your own.' So this woman could have gotten into her car, driven home and gotten into a huge accident if she had another attack whilst driving and left her children without a mother. Those fucks in the emergency room should all be punched in the gut by a UFC fighter repeatedly so they could feel the same pain and then have someone tell them to deal with it and go the fuck home. On the way out they should have someone at the door to spit in their face. Cunts.

ELECTION BOREDOM

Can we possibly re-assess, evaluate, or read into the presidential election results any further? It's not going to change the outcome! For Christ's sakes! Let it lie already! Every news channel continues to beat this dead horse. I often wonder if a day will ever come when the media will realize that the public are sick and tired of their antics. It makes me feel like buying an old video camcorder from 1980 and smashing it over someone's head. As for Larry King, I'd like to strangle him with his suspenders. He asks all his guests the same questions. I could ask more interesting questions myself. I'd rather watch two slugs mating...

SEXY SLUGS

The mating habits of Limax maximus are considered unusual among slugs: the hermaphrodite slugs court, usually for hours, by circling and licking each other. After this, the slugs will climb into a tree or other high area and then, entwined together, lower themselves on a thick string of mucus, evert their white translucent mating organs (penises) from their gonopores (openings on the right side of the head), entwine these organs, and exchange sperm. Both participants will later lay hundreds of eggs.
A commonly seen practice among many slugs is apophallation, when one or both of the slugs chews off the other's penis. The penis of these species is curled like a cork-screw and often becomes entangled in their mate's genitalia in the process of exchanging sperm. When all else fails, apophallation allows the slugs to separate themselves. Once its penis has been removed, a slug is still able to participate in mating subsequently, but only using the female parts of its reproductive system.
The tiny slugs which emerge from the eggs need at least two years to reach sexual maturity

MOON PIE FACED BITCH

I can't stand it when people think their status is as high as a physician's just because they are in management. There is this disgusting specimen of a woman I've come accross in my work that is the perfect example of this. She abuses her 'power' (what little she has) and somehow, whenever she comes back to work for her one or two shifts a month (after being abroad constantly) complaints about other staff members surface out of nowhere. She's so aware of her low level of intelligence that anything and anyone is a threat to her. I don't even understand how she got to be in the position of 'supervising' other people. I'm sure that if you asked her a clinical question she'd have no idea of the answer. On top of everything else she dresses as though it's 1965. I'd like to strangle her with her pantyhose while repeatedly punching her in the face.

PRINCE CHARLES

Prince Charles is the ugliest fucker I've ever seen. I don't think I even need to mention what a dumb ass he is. But, in case you don't know, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuNKyC8v5CM

CASEY ANTHONY

This woman is a digusting excuse for a human being. How blatantly obvious is it that she killed her own daughter? Now we have to go through all these shinanigans trying to prove that she really did it? Our justice system is corrupt and our police "officials" and "detectives" have the IQ of a gnat because they have had 5 months to find this little girl's body and they have been unable to. It's scary to think that a crazy young woman whose only skills are partying and shopping at walmart can outsmart them. This woman should be forced to eat platefuls of shit for 24 hours and then beaten so badly that all her bones are broken. If they need any volunteers for this, Dr. Vijayjay is available...Those tears in her picture are those of a manipulative killer.

FUNNY

Why is it that after a while, things that were once funny just aren't anymore? Why do we get bored so easily? Although some people don't get bored as easily as others, it still happens. People get tired of each other; no longer find the other person interesting etc. People get tired of their jobs, find their hobbies no longer interesting and so on and so forth. Why does this happen?? Today I listened to a joke that I always used to laugh at and it just wasn't even remotely funny anymore. I really felt disappointed by that. I don't really know what else to say about this topic, but it DOES bother me. Is that why people are so afraid of getting married these days? Is it because they're afraid that one day will come and they'll realize they no longer have interest in that person and have to hurt them by telling them the truth? How must it feel for someone to tell you that you're no longer intersting? Pretty shitty I bet...

VOTING

I dont' think that uneducated and un-informed people should be allowed to vote. It's pretty much like putting the fate of our country into the hands of idiots. McCain is probably going to lose this election because there are a majority of people in all classes (from welfare to middle class) who will strictly vote for Obama just because he is black and they want to see a black president. They have no idea what either of the candidates views are on any of the issues. This is frightening to me. If this is the way it is, I could walk up to anyone on the street and ask them to have a go at performing surgery on me. Something has to be done. I think it would be a good idea to have a mandatory 'quiz' like questionnaire that voters have to fill out and pass first before being allowed to vote. There should be questions on it such as "what does each candidate claim to do for national debt?" or "What is Obama's Health Plan". Nothing complicated, just a little something that shows that you have at least made a minimal effort to educate yourself on the issues and views from both sides. As complicated as the ballot is in itself, I'm sure we could come up with something.