ENGLISH PEOPLE'S TEETH

If English people get free dental care, why do the majority of them have such horrible teeth? I personally think it's because they simply don't give a shit. I have attached a picture of Belgian Prime Minister Guy Verhofstadt as an example because all the pictures of English Prime Minister Gordon Brown's teeth have been doctored up. We all saw his horrific smile at the Olympics! Don't try to fool us with the airbrushing.

LPGA

Finally! Someone not being afraid to tell people that if they're going to participate in American sports, they need to learn to SPEAK ENGLISH!!! Great job on the LPGA's part for attempting to make this happen. Learn English, or you will be suspended from the Association. Plain and simple. This is the way matters like this should be handled. Of course there are wishy washy people who are going to do whatever they can to stand in the way of this progress. The should be punched in the face. If you haven't heard about this or been able to read about it, here is the link: http://www.golfweek.com/protours/lpga/story/lpga-english-news-082508

FOR OUR AJ FANS

For our Ashley Judd fans in faraway countries that could use a good 'wank'. I hope I look this good when I'm 40!

MEAN STREAK

Do you know someone who has a mean streak or have you ever noticed one in yourself? I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I let my mean streak take over. I probably would be thrown in jail time and time again. I have a mostly good heart I would say, but sometimes I just want to punch people. I really do. Do you ever actually picture yourself strangling someone? I have. The thing is, I don't feel sorry about these thoughts either. So, does this make me a mean person? I don't think so. I think it qualifies as a mean STREAK. I know for a fact that this mean streak exists because when I get into an argument with someone, I go directly for the most hurtful verbal comment. I guess it's a good thing that there are laws to remind us of the what the consequences will be if we don't keep ourselves in check. I also think that's why we tend to snap and lash out at the people we love the most because we have that solid faith that they'll forgive us and just accept our craziness as being part our personality. I must say that it did feel great to punch that old lady. I think that if more people got punched in the face when they deserved it, the world would be a much more peaceful place.

MORE ON FLAG

I have found out that that silly confederate flag sits on private land owned by the an organization called the Florida Sons of the Confederacy. I also found out that the head of that particular chapter just dropped dead last week. Good. We don't need people like that in this world.

WHAT CONFEDERACY?

I want to know whose bright idea it was to raise a huge southern confederacy flag on the side of US highway 75 in southern Florida. We are NOT the southern confederacy states! I personally find this insulting and ridiculous! I think it would be much more acceptable if they were to raise the American flag above it, since we DO live in the UNITED STATES of AMERICA!!! I understand we have rights and freedom of speech, but this isn't someone's own back yard - it's right out there on Highway 75 for all people to see. Whoever decided it would be a good idea to display this flag needs a double punch in the face.

WOMEN WITH MUSTACHES

What is up with these women everywhere walking around with mustaches? Haven't they ever heard of a depilatory? You know- you can get it at any Wal-Mart for under three dollars! You know what's funny about it too? Some of them are gorgeous latin women with beautiful features, except then there's this mustache! We all know that latin women are naturally hairy, and most of them keep it in check but more and more are not. There's another thing too - these Brazilian women walking around with perfectly tended pubic hairs and hair free buttcracks (to accomodate those g-strings they wear) but then you look at their faces and there it is again- A BIG ASS MUSTACHE!!! All I have to say about this is, if you can't rememdy it like the rest of us, you need a punch in the face.

SINGLE MOTHERS

On a positive note, I want to commend and give some recognition to all the single mothers out there who are doing their best. Single mothers do so much - caring for children, running households, sometimes even furthering their educations, all at the same time! Sometimes fathers are away for good reason, but even so it is still difficult without them. Most fathers seem to think that children don't need their daddies. They're wrong. Children long for and miss their daddies just as much. This is another thing forcing single mothers to be strong. They represss their emotions and feelings of sadness and longing for either their lost partners, or their current husbands who need to be away so that the children will feel happy. GREAT JOB MOMS! Keep going and don't give up. Know that what you're doing is worth a lot.

PORN

I would like to know why men (more so than women) get turned on by looking at pictures/movies of women performing sexual acts. I don't hate porn (although I used to) and have actually used it at times as a learning tool. The thing I don't understand though - is how do you get so turned on to the point that you need to jack yourself off from a PICTURE?? It's just a picture. I personally need to actually feel and touch whatever is supposed to me turning me on, not watch someone else do it. Certainly, there are people out there that I think are attractive, but I don't look at a picture of Brad Pitt and feel the need to yank up my skirt and pleasure myself! Men behave like teenagers on this issue. They go onto the internet and save or print out various pictures of different celebrities they find sexually attractive, but they won't appreciate it when their wives or girlfriends go out on a limb to be sexy for them. Not to mention the fact that most women have jobs, and take care of the house and children. Being sexy for your man takes work and can sometimes be a PAIN IN THE ASS!!! Men are unknowingly insulting their women by having their little porn collections and basically saying "whatever you do, no matter how beautiful you are, or how great your body is - it doesn't matter because as soon as you leave, I'm going to jack off to pictures of strange women or celebrities that turn me on!!' Maybe they should try giving these women who are completely unreachable and out of their league a call and they can suck your dick for you and save us real women some valuable time.

WET ASS

I get so annoyed when you sit down on a toilet (whether it be at work, school, home) and any male in the area has already urinated into the toilet without lifting the seat, therefore splashing the seat with urine. Despite the fact that they have already flushed their urine away, the splash is still waiting on the seat - most times so slight that it is invisible. Then you come along and sit down and the backs of your thighs and ass cheeks get all wet and disgusting with this other person's urine. If I wanted a wet ass I would just lift the seat and set it down into the pool of toilet water. People that don't lift the seat deserve a right and left punch in the face.

MIDGETS

I am tired of listening to midgets bitch and complain. Okay, it sucks that you're smaller and have to endure all the trials and tribulations that you do, but It's not my fucking fault that you're a midget! So get over it. I absolutely refuse to call them 'little people' either. When did that shit start? I grew up with the term midget not being derrogatory, and now all of a sudden it is? Give me a break. I could call little kids little people if I wanted to. It makes no sense. Plus, let's get rid of all these stupid shows about the lives of midgets. I don't really give a shit about how hard it is for you as a midget to have a baby. Maybe if you can't physically handle having or caring for a baby - you shouldn't!!! Plus, you're increasing the chance of your offspring being a midget and living just as miserable a life as you have! That's really nice. I don't have a problem with midgets as long as they don't pull that 'my life sucks and it's your fault' attitude. I don't have any problem punching a midget with an attitude if I have to. In fact, I think I would enjoy it.

Yellow Lights

People that slam on their brakes at a yellow light deserve to be dragged out of their car and beaten to death for wasting everyone else's time.

MICHELLE OBAMA

Michelle Obama can Fuck Off!!! I am so sick of hearing about her. What the fuck does she have to do with anything. Who gives a fuck what the running man's wife is doing????? I'm sorry but the wife shouldn't have anything to do with it. He's running, not her. As long as I'm on it, he's a dumb fuck too. I don't feel like discussing this in an intellectual manner right now because guess what? IT'S NOT WORTH MY BREATH!!!. Prescription for this person is.......Punch in the face.

NATIONAL SECURITY

I can say right now that I'm greatly annoyed with airport security. I appreciate the fact that they are trying to prevent terrorism and suicide bombers etc. BUT, let's face it these people are extremely intelligent, obviously not all of them are, but the ones that aren't are fearless. That can be a dangerous combination - fearless and intelligent. Anyway, my point is they are going to find a way to get on a plane regardless of what we do. Of course we can make it more difficult for them, but they'll find a way. It is because of all this that I can't walk to the gate to say goodbye to a loved one each time they leave. Saying goodbye at the shuttle terminal is horrible because you know that your loved one is just over there at the other end of the building and you could have had a few more precious moments together. Instead you are forced to leave trying to see through your tears and act like you're okay. You end up spending the rest of the day trying to pull yourself together and failing miserably. I think terrorists should have their genitals severed and be suffocated with them for ruining it for everyone. Bastards. I hate them.

EARL AND SON

Thanks for your comments Earl and son! For Earl's son - I can understand why Alltell has been bought by Verizon. For one thing, they understand the meaning of customer service, and also have many options to offer the customer. I looked at several different phone carrier services and decided to go with Verizon. I am already happier with the phone they gave me and the service has not dropped a call yet.. Will keep counting!

ALLTELL

I would like to let everyone out there know that ALLTELL is the worst phone carrier you can ever have. If you ever have to choose, make sure you go to anyone but them because their customer service sucks. Their representatives don't listen to anything you say and bug you every chance you get. They offer only a limited amount of plans, and then even if you have the plan with the most minutes and you go over, THEY TURN YOUR PHONE OFF!! Even if your bill is PAID! I don't know about you, but this really pisses me off. If I didn't need to behave like a responsible adult and parent I would go down to the nearsest Alltell store and punch everyone that works there in the face.

Today I was in the grocery store and saw these ridiculous slippers with MOPS on the bottom so that you can mop your floor while you walk around. How lazy are people becoming? Bend your ass over and scrub your floor if it's dirty! It's not hard! If I ever see anyone wearing those crazy slippers I am going to punch them in the face.

NOTHING ELSE TO SAY

Today I saw a morbidly obese Jamaican lady working out (rather, trying to) wearing a knit wool lime green cap and black spandex biking shorts. Need I say more? Where did she even find her size in those pants? Those companies should have their asses kicked for making fat people think that it's okay to wear spandex just because it comes in their size.

AMY WINEHOUSE

Amy Winehouse is a disgusting specimen of humanity. It makes me utterly sick to know that some crackhead out there is winning grammys and making millions of dollars whilst the rest of us work our assess off for practically nothing. Why don't I just go out and start doing drugs and write some whiney song about every day life pressures and I could be a millionaire too? Amy Winehouse deserves a couple punches in the face.

PLUGGED IN KIDS

I get really irritated when I see mothers continually plopping their toddlers down in a corner in front of a portable DVD player. They throw the headphones on them and stick them in a corner like a fake houseplant. Whatever happened to the "behave yourself, sit down and be quiet" approach? Kids are getting plopped down in front of their little miniscule tv's at the hairdressers, at weddings, in the cart at the grocery store, at the post office - EVERYWHERE!!! Here's a tip, if you must bring your small children with you to a place that's boring for them, use it as an opportunity to teach them to behave and quietly entertain themselves. It's not easy, I know from experience - but I for one am not going to turn my child into a zombie because I'm too lazy or tired to parent. I was at a wedding a couple of months ago where one of the guest couples brought their 2 year old with them (despite the fact the reception was running very late into the night). The mother literally picked up the child, put her in a corner of the reception hall by herself, stuck the portable DVD player in front of her and left her there. Why not take your baby out on the dance floor and swing her around at least? Kids love that. But apparently, this is too difficult for some people, or maybe I'm just surrounded by people lacking in intelligence AND common sense. Asses. No wonder today's children are mostly spoiled brats with no imagination.

BREAST IMPLANTS

I really don't know what to think of this breast implant craze. If you pay attention, you will notice that a lot more people than you think have them. People that you would never imagine to have them, in fact do. The procedure has become so common that people are beginning to expect others to get them! I happen to exercise a great deal, and the sad truth that accompanies that fact is you lose the fatty tissue in your breasts therefore making them smaller and sometimes saggy. There's no pretty way to say it. Well, a friend of mine walked up to me the other day and just said "so when are you getting breast implants?" Despite the fact that I have considered having a breast augmentation, him saying that really offended me. As though he and the rest of society don't find you or your body optimally beautiful unless you are perfectly proportioned. One thought that keeps me from doing it is - I don't want to look like everyone else. Why do we all strive for this perfect image? The other part of me though isn't satisfied with my over 30 saggy non voluptuous breasts. I guess the most important thing is - do it for yourself. If having a breast augmentation or even just a breast lift makes you feel better about your self image, then do it. Don't do it for anyone else, not even your husband or significant other. It's your body, not theirs.

BOUNDARIES!

I hate when people think that it's okay to just walk up and touch you. What on earth makes them think they have the right- I don't know. Then, when you tell them not to touch you they get all offended like it's you that did something wrong. Unless you're my kid or my family, don't put your hands on me. This idiot at my gym who looks like a fat old ham on steriods just came up to me the other day when I was on the elliptical and put his hand on my low back. I turned around in surprise and said "are you touching me?" He says "what?" acting surprised. I said "don't put your hands on me, I'm serious - take them off or I'll break them off". You have to be cut and dry with dumb asses like him. So then he walks off mumbling something ridiculous about prudes. Idiot. Then I was pissed because I had to waste more time filing an icident report at the front desk otherwise nothing will be done. This idiot needs a punch in the throat and a kick in the face.

MILITARY COUPLES

I am so sick of these random couples on various news stations boo hooing about how they have to be away from their newborns. First of all, if you get into a relationship with someone in the military and you are in as well, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN!!!! I don't know what makes these people believe that they can have their cake and eat it too. All of us in other professions have to choose whether we are going to concentrate on our careers or have children. Being a working mother is different than having a baby and then going off to timbuktu for 2 years. My point is I don't care how supposedly 'in love' you are. If both parents are going to be away for endless periods of time and the grandparents or whoever are going to end up raising the children then you shouldn't have had them in the first place. All of these people deserve a punch in the face for being selfish and stupid.

THE MARKET

Today I discovered a fresh fruit and vegetable market in my neighborhood. I really believe an area doesn't feel like home until you find those little places like the above mentioned where you can just stop and get a few things. What I mean by market (for those of you who don't know) is more like a large stand or large size tent usually owned by a local couple or farmers in the area where they sell their fresh produce. In addition to the produce, you can find little things like organic honey in jars, home made dry soup mixes, freshly made baked goods - like zucchini bread or blueberry muffins and just a bunch of little things the owners make to sell to the public. What a great place - especially for a food fanatic like me. I get a cozy feeling when I go there. There's something about picking out your fruit and vegetables out of the large supermarket atmosphere that makes it seem more meaningful and wholesome. The people who own this stand get a thumbs up from Dr. Vijayjay.

THE NICE FRIEND

Did you ever notice that most people have 'the nice friend'? My friend Raul is nice to EVERYONE, even if they're an asshole. He works as a Respiratory Therapist and I've have never heard him even get slightly annoyed. It makes me want to be a better person on some days and on other days I just feel angry because he makes me look evil! My question is how do you get that way? I have always been high strung. I can't imagine being so calm that nothing bothers you. It's reassuring to know that there are still nice people out in the world. I was really starting to believe that there wasn't.

Off the topic, Patrick Stewart is the sexiest old guy I know.