ANOTHER STUPID COMMERCIAL

I want to know what jackass came up with this nuva ring commercial. As a woman, I know that we don't all sit around in little groups having martinis and talk about what our birth control methods are. As a matter of fact, this is quite a private matter with women and rarely do we ever discuss it with anyone besides a close friend. In the commercial (in case you haven't seen it) there is a group of five or six women in their late twenties, maybe early thirties sitting on some deep couches in a living room in front of a fire. They are all dressed their best and have on matching accessories and shoes (yes even though they're at home 'hanging out'); each with a cocktail in their hand. They go on to discuss how wonderful and comfortable nuva ring is and how it has 'freed' them from the trials and tribulations of daily birth control pills. Of course they fail to tell you that it may cause massive break through bleeding for up to a year on top of other annoying and dangerous side effects. I think these pharmaceutical companies should not be allowed to air commercials to the general public who are completely uniformed and uneducated about medicine. They then go flocking off to their doctors' offices demanding medications that think will cure all their 'ailments'. Pharmaceutical companies deserve a punch in the face!

AS USUAL

How many times do I have to say this? DON'T SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES AT A YELLOW LIGHT!!! You seriously risk getting punched in the face.

FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

There is no higher level of ignorance than this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDJyZIPvExY

The executors of this should be suffocated with the countless genitalia they have unnecessarily mutilated and/or removed. There is absolutely nothing in the Koran with reference to this practice. This is merely an African tradition adopted by other cultures with an insecure and controlling male population. I would love to excise the labia majora off of a 600 pound woman and slap these people countless times in the face with it . In between slaps I would go about excising the head of their penis and jamming it down their throat. If that didn't change their minds, I would then excise their testicles and insert them into their rectum using a spear heated over a fire. Send them to me. Please. I beg you. I would love it.

EARLY RISERS

I hate listening to early risers talk about how much more productive they are and how much more they 'get done'. That's the biggest load of crap. Night people get just as much done, as a matter of fact, I believe that night oriented people are able to tolerate more stress. Although we may age more quickly, I bet we have more good times and more adventure. You early risers out there are all konked out by 5pm. The only way to wake you after that is with - a punch in the face!

MCDONALD'S

Today I was listening to this woman on MSNBC talk about how her son screams until she takes him to McDonalds. He's a kid!!! Hasn't anyone told parents today that you don't have to do everything and anything your kids want? That's why America's children are all turning out to be overweight uneducated brats.

On another subject why is it that in horror movies, the person screaming usually covers their mouth to try to suppress themselves from doing it? I know that if I was scared shitless I would just scream my head off without putting my hands over my mouth. Obviously if you have time to consider the people around you and think about them hearing your screams, you're not that scared.

No matter how great a man is, there is always something about them that you wish would be different or better. Then you have to spend the time thinking about whether you should accept it or look for another one with a different problem.

I don't think anyone ever really matures. It's all just a bunch of bullshit.

ANDRE AGASSI

Hey everyone, let's listen to Andre Agassi boo hoo about his 'terrible' life.... He needs a punch in the face just for being himself. Bald dumb ass. And that is all. Oh by the way his wife is fucking ugly.

UKRANIAN WOMEN AND OTHER 'SMART ONES'

I just finished laughing my ass off while listening to a Ukranian mail-order bride talk about how she prefers American men because they are intellectual...HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! That is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard. They are just another race wanting to steal our men. Everyone knows that their men are too stupid, and smoke and drink too much to be 'marraige material'. Asian women steal our men too because theirs don't have sufficient cock. So they slut themselves up and come over here. Then they snatch up all the good guys with lots of money whilst us American women are busy with our 'careers' and 'independence'. Wait a minute, I think they're on to something...Maybe they're not so dumb after all. I still hate the way our men behave themselves around foreign women though. Falling all over themselves and practically jizzing in their pants in public places. I feel like wearing a big sign that says 'sorry I'm not exotic enough for you'. Stupid cunts. I'd like to use an Asian chick as a punching bag. The first thing I would do would be to tape her eyes open so she would be sure to see me beat her ass. Then I'd give her pubes a perm so that she'd know what they're supposed to look like. I think everyone should be allowed to give someone of their choice a beating without any consequences attached at least once a year. I bet we'd have a much more docile population.

RANDOM THOUGHTS II

Do you ever feel like just NOT brushing your teeth before bed? All that little shit gets to be a pain in the ass. At times like those I can't even be bothered to put on pajamas. If I'm not putting them on for me, then why bother?

And why is it that every time you care about someone or make a good friend, they end up having to move? That sucks! It makes me want to stop talking to people all together. What's the point if they're just going to be gone in the end anyway?

Yestereday a mosquito bit my heel. Today a different mosquito tried to latch on to the same spot. I slapped it off and hoped that I ended it's life slowly. I'd love to pluck it's wings off one by one and watch the bastard suffer. Mosquitos always target me. I hate it. Ants too. If I could build a fire and toss into it every ant and useless bug in existence, I would. Bug collectors need to be punched in the face. What a bunch of dumb asses.

LIVESTRONG OR LIVE FAT?

Yesterday at Target I saw a fat guy wearing a Livestrong t-shirt. It just seems as though there should be an unwritten rule stating that if you're fat, you are not allowed to wear attire respresented by fit people. I don't really care if this sounds mean or not. Fit people work very hard to stay that way and they EARN the right to wear the types of clothes that they do. So if you're overweight, drop some weight blimp! Don't try to stuff it into a Livestrong cycling shirt. Jesus Christ. I feel like I constantly need to point out the obvious...

GLENN BECK

Glenn Beck is weird. Although I do agree with his point with reference to Ground Zero in NYC. Like he says, the Empire State Building was built in 400 days, but we still have yet to construct anything at Ground Zero, not even anything resembling a memorial. After eight years, all we have is a hole in the ground. I can understand that some people who have lost loved ones there may be opposed to having something built on that site, but you can't leave a wound open forever. Heal it. I also agree with Beck on how ridiculous 'political correctness' has become. People don't want to call this proposed memorial the 'Freedom Tower' because.....why? When did the word freedom become derrogatory and offensive? I really hate to see what this world is coming to. People are so easily offended these days - it makes you begin to not care what you say because what's the difference? They'll be offended either way. We may as well be blunt and honest with people. No harm can come from it.